To say that dating in modern times is tricky would be an understatement. Dating apps can foster a "grass is greener the next swipe over" mentality, not to mention it's much easier to ghost someone that you haven't met in person but have otherwise built an emotional connection with through text. Breadcrumbing is another modern dating issue, and it can cause quite a bit of emotional turmoil for the person on the receiving end of the crumbs.
Let's take five minutes to see this week in a new light. | | | To say that dating in modern times is tricky would be an understatement. Dating apps can foster a "grass is greener the next swipe over" mentality, not to mention it's much easier to ghost someone that you haven't met in person but have otherwise built an emotional connection with through text. Breadcrumbing is another modern dating issue, and it can cause quite a bit of emotional turmoil for the person on the receiving end of the crumbs. | | | Over time, [breadcrumbing] could cause people to lower their standards and learn that they must accept the bare minimum of love or attention that is provided by others." | | | The term "breadcrumbing" refers to the idea of leaving behind a trail of small, sporadic morsels that keep someone engaged just enough to maintain some level of engagement. It might look like: - A quick text message after days or weeks without speaking
- A string of "likes" on social media when you haven't communicated recently
- Someone who burns hot one minute then cold the next
- Texting you out of the blue, then not responding to your response for days/weeks
- Making suggestions to meet up without following through
- No explanation or remorse for going MIA
| Sometimes breadcrumbing is an outright form of manipulation that keeps the other person on the backburner for when/if the breadcrumber decides to genuinely pursue the relationship. Other times, the person leaving the trail may not realize what they're doing. For example, they could be struggling with self-esteem, have social anxiety, or not be emotionally mature. Either way, confronting and nipping the breadcrumbs is important. Here are a few ways you can do that: - Be Direct: Call out the breadcrumbing behavior and explain how it makes you feel. Try to stick to explicit, non-emotional language so the message is clear. The person's response will be telling.
- Create Boundaries: Decide for yourself what you are willing to tolerate, and don't accept anything less.
- De-Prioritize the Relationship: Create emotional distance between you and the other person. Also, you are under no obligation to respond to sporadic text messages immediately, especially if they're at odd hours of the day or night.
- Prioritize Yourself and Fulfilling Relationships: Focus your energy on yourself, which means leaning into conversations and people that bring you joy and make you a priority.
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